Let’s Talk About the Shame Around Choosing Formula

If you’ve ever typed something like “should I feel bad for using formula?” into a search bar, you’re far from alone. Feeding choices have sparked debate for decades, and it’s one of those topics that everyone seems to have an opinion on, whether you asked for it or not.

But here’s the thing: behind every choice is a parent just trying to do what’s best. And too often, that gets lost in the endless advice and ‘mommy life hacks’.

Let’s unpack some of the reasons parents turn to formula, why the guilt can feel so heavy, and why it absolutely shouldn’t define your journey.

Why breastfeeding doesn’t always work

You can have all the intentions in the world, and sometimes, breastfeeding still doesn’t go to plan.

Maybe your milk supply is inconsistent or never quite comes in. Maybe nursing is painful, exhausting, or emotionally draining. Maybe you’re recovering from a difficult birth or managing a health condition that makes breastfeeding too difficult or risky. Or maybe you’re back at work earlier than expected and pumping is more stress than support.

Sometimes, it’s not even one big issue. It’s a hundred small things that add up to a hard decision. And whatever the reason, it’s valid.

There’s a misconception that if breastfeeding doesn’t work, you must not have tried hard enough. But that kind of thinking completely ignores the complexities of real life, and the real needs of parents and babies alike.

Yes, breast is best… but so is a full, happy baby

There’s no denying that breast milk is incredible. It’s biologically tailored to your baby and full of living nutrients that support immunity, growth, and development.

But “breast is best” can sometimes make it feel like anything else is second-best—or worse. That’s simply not true.

Many formulas, especially European organic formulas, are designed to mimic breast milk as closely as possible using clean, simple ingredients. They rely on:

• Lactose as the primary carbohydrate: the same milk sugar found in breast milk
  
• Whole milk fats or structured fats that resemble the natural fat profile of breast milk
  
• No added soy, corn syrup, GMOs, or artificial preservatives
  
  

These formulas are held to some of the world’s strictest organic standards. So while nothing can replicate human milk perfectly, many European formulas come impressively close. For families who need or choose formula, that can be a huge comfort.

The guilt is normal (even though it shouldn’t be)

Most new parents experience some level of guilt around feeding. Whether it’s pressure to breastfeed longer, or shame for using formula at all, it creeps in when you’re already stretched thin and running on empty.

But feeding your baby isn’t a moral issue. You’re not a better parent because you nurse – or a worse one because you don’t. It doesn’t mean you’re not “providing” for your baby properly, or that what you’re doing isn’t the clean, simple, “natural” way. You’re doing the best you can with the circumstances you have. Being a new parent is hard enough without all the extra eyes!

Even high-profile parents have made the choice to use formula. The Princess of Wales, Kate Middleton, famously used Kendamil, a European organic formula made with full cream milk and no palm oil. And while that shouldn’t have to validate your choice, it does show how common it really is, even among those who could seemingly access anything.

You don’t need permission to feed your baby in a way that works for you. But in case no one has told you lately: it’s okay, and you’re doing enough.

Make your routine work for you (not anyone else)

One of the hardest things about new parenthood is the unsolicited advice. It comes from all directions, often dressed as concern but reeks of judgment.

People will have opinions about everything – how your baby sleeps, how you feed them, whether you should be co-feeding or exclusively nursing. It’s exhausting. And sometimes, it makes you question your own instincts.

But here’s the truth: nobody knows your baby like you do. Whether you’re co-feeding with breast milk and formula, switching to formula full-time, or starting from day one with a tin, it’s your family and your call, nobody else’s.

Feeding your baby should never come with shame attached. It should come with support.

You’re doing what’s best

Feeding your baby is an act of love, no matter how you do it.

At Zen Organic Formula, we believe that parents deserve access to trustworthy options without guilt, without pressure, and without confusing marketing guilt-tripping you into buying something you don’t want or need. That’s why we offer only clean, certified European organic formulas that meet high standards for purity, nutrition, and sustainability. We’re proud of everything we offer and what it represents, so the choice is in your hands.

If you’re exploring formula and want a little help figuring out where to start, we’ve made it easy.

Take our Formula Finder Quiz to find your baby’s perfect match in under 60 seconds.

You deserve support that meets you where you are, not where others think you should be. Whether that’s breastfeeding, co-feeding, or formula-only, we think you’re doing a great job!