How to Never Feel Guilty About Formula Feeding

Anyone who’s ever had a baby will know just how much judgement and guilt is involved – right from when you first see those 2 lines develop on a pregnancy test. 

Because everyone has an opinion on how to look after babies. From little things like whether baby jeans look cute, or moses baskets vs cribs. To the big stuff – like how to feed them. 

Breastfeeding vs formula feeding can feel like a big, guilt-inducing divide

It’s the one thing that even parents who don’t normally care much about others’ opinions often feel judged over – whichever choice they make. It can even feel like it’s not just about nutrition, but what kind of parent you are. 

But here’s the thing: the ‘divide’ isn’t real. Most babies actually get both breastmilk and formula. 83% of babies are breastfed at some stage, even if it’s just the first few feeds. And 66% of moms either have used formula, or plan to (as we revealed in  this blog).

Reasons for choosing formula 

Let’s be clear: formula isn’t breastmilk, and you won’t find us pretending otherwise. For moms who are able to breastfeed, it is the optimal choice. That’s why good formula brands invest so much time and effort into creating formulas that resemble breastmilk as closely as possible. 

Equally, there are many (many) reasons why breastfeeding isn’t always the right choice. For many moms, babies and families, there might be more than one reason for choosing formula. 

You might also find that things change as time goes on. For example, you might have found that feeding a newborn on maternity leave was (relatively) easy, but now you’re back at work and struggling with pumping. 

Let’s go through each of the different reasons you might have chosen formula, and how to navigate any guilt you might feel.

Formula simply worked better for you

The one big elephant in the room when it comes to feeding choices: some moms just prefer to formula feed. 

The reasons for this can be deeply personal, or they can be simply practical. Often, it’s both. Formula feeding means that anyone can feed your baby, for example. Which not only gives you more freedom to get out of the house or back to hobbies, but means you can get uninterrupted sleep. All these things aren’t necessarily just nice to have – they could be essential for your mental health. 

Whatever your reasons, they’re yours. Trust yourself to make the right choices for your family. 

Problems with breastfeeding and work

Let’s be clear on this: breastfeeding a small baby while working is incredibly hard for many moms. While most employers are relatively understanding, and will help out by providing time to pump and a place to do it – not all do. 

Even if they do, that doesn’t make it easy. If you have a busy or physical job or you work shifts, trying to find the energy to pump can be as difficult as finding the time. You might also find that, even if you can pump, you can’t store milk anywhere at work – which (of course) means it’s not suitable to give your baby. 

And that’s before we get into the potential for leaking, sore breasts at work, and pain and potential embarrassment that can cause. Even if no-one ever notices, it’s another thing to add to your stress. 

If you’re in the US, it might help you to remember that maternity leave is often much shorter than it is in many places, including most of Europe. UK moms, for example, usually take 9 to 12 months away from work. So if you found that breastfeeding while working was just too hard to sustain, remind yourself that in another country, you might not have been expected to try. 

Lack of milk supply or other feeding problems

Many blogs and even medical professionals will tell you that low milk supply is rare, and only affects 5% of women at most. But a much higher percentage of women – perhaps as much as 80% – will feel that they have a low milk supply, at least at some point in their feeding journey. 

So what accounts for the difference? 

While it’s true that there aren’t many women whose breasts just don’t make enough (or any) milk, there are many other reasons why your baby might not be getting enough milk at the breast. These aren’t just down to perception or worry, but can be because:

• The baby isn’t latching properly, which means they can’t get enough milk for a full feed. This in turn can lower your supply, as your body responds to the baby’s level of demand for milk. 

• The baby has a tongue tie. This affects up to 10% of babies, and while it doesn’t stop them feeding, it can make it much slower and more difficult. Again, this can in turn affect your supply. 

• You’re stressed and exhausted. This might be surprising – as most new moms struggle with stress and a lack of sleep in the early days. But these things can damage milk supply, with stress hormones in particular affecting it. 

• You’re struggling with pain or infections. Sore nipples, a painful letdown, or mastitis – all of these things can make breastfeeding excruciating, and in turn lower supply as you can’t feed for long. It can sometimes be possible to push through with help, but not everyone can. 

In other words – if you tried to breastfeed, but felt like your baby wasn’t getting enough milk, you were probably right, and you shouldn’t feel guilty. Being able to feed your baby, without pain, and know that they’re getting a full, nutritious feed that will help them grow is important – not just for them, but for you and your mental health. 

What really matters: choosing a formula you’re happy with

 

One thing all parents can agree on is that you want to know you’re doing the best you can for your little one. 

If that means formula rather than breastmilk, then it probably means:

• Formula made from clean, nourishing ingredients – the kind you’d be happy to see in your own food. 

• No GMOs, corn syrup, soy protein or herbicides.

• Made with milk from pasture-raised animals. 

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